


somebody catch my breath

by calliewrites



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, SADrien, adrien is SAD, because I am sad and apparently i like to see my son suffer, pls i just want him to be happy why am i even writing this, this pun is terrible but im kinda proud of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calliewrites/pseuds/calliewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he shouldn’t have believed it. he shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have, but he had, and now it hurt even more to discover the truth~<br/>or, Adrien Agreste discovers that his birthday scarf wasn’t actually from his father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	somebody catch my breath

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry i've had this stuck in my head from the longest time, and i should be doing my homework but i've been waiting for princess fragrance for HOURS and i kind of took my frustration out on this (and it didn't even really work). 
> 
> oh! also, title is from Goner by twenty one pilots because i love it and i love adrien and i don't know

           Adrien felt hopeful. He felt hopeful because, for once, he’d received a thoughtful gift from his father, and although their relationship hadn’t changed, maybe it was going to? Maybe it was a sign that his father might care, after all. A silent sign, because Gabriel hadn’t acknowledged the gift in front of his son, but a sign nevertheless. Maybe it was a proof that things were going to get better between them. And Adrien wasn’t one to believe in hope, not really, not when it came to his father, but he wanted to believe the scarf had been from him _so badly_. As far as gifts went, this one really seemed like it could have been. This wasn’t the same pen he’d received three years in a row from Nathalie (he might’ve been young, but he wasn’t oblivious). This was a scarf, a piece of clothing, which was a logical gift from a designer? Adrien thought so, anyway. 

           He found the scarf lovely. It was soft and blue and comfortable to wear, and it came from his father.

__________

             But then, a few weeks later, just as he’s finishing his breakfast, his father comes down the stairs and reminds Adrien of his photoshoot before school (like he could forget), and, “ _What’s this scarf you’re wearing, anyway? You should take it off, what would people think if they saw my_ son _wearing something like that?_ ” And Adrien’s heart just kind of, uh, breaks and shatters into a million pieces and it’s so loud you could probably hear it from the other side of Paris, the other side of the world. If you ask him, he’ll say it was his fault for believing things could change anyway.

            He does go to his shoot, like his father told him to, because that’s what he always does, and as he keeps having to remind himself, _nothing has changed_. Actually, there’s one thing that’s changed. He’s even more disappointed; in his father, for not caring about him, but most of all in himself, for believing that things might get better eventually; because hope is pointless and he can't believe he'd been so naive and let himself be fooled like this. He knew he shouldn’t have. Adrien had spent years trying to be okay with this life, without his mom. He couldn't really say he _was_ okay with it, but he'd kind of gotten used to living the way he did. Except he’d messed up, he’d thought perhaps this time it would be different, and he’d have to start bringing his walls up all over again.

            School is terrible. His friends notice he’s not okay, and he knows they want to help, but Adrien doesn’t see how. He’s tired and he doesn’t think he can handle being around people. Don’t get him wrong, he’s used to being tired. He’s not exactly happy most of the time, and between school, work, and all his extra activities, he’s always tired. But this? This is kind of different. It’s believing in something you didn’t let yourself believe in for so long, only to watch as it collapses. It’s telling yourself that the _one_ thing you truly want, you truly need, might happen, and even though you know you shouldn’t let your guards down you sort of do because it feels so good to pretend it’s true, until it doesn’t. It’s thinking your father, the only family you have left, the one person you should be able to count on, might care about you just a little… only to be proven wrong. Adrien’s weary to the bone, and he just wants it all to end. 

           He really should’ve known better.

__________

            He’s Chat Noir that night, he’s patrolling and he just needs to… not think. Anything is better than thinking. It’s not his and Ladybug’s normal patrol time, so he knows there’s not much of a chance of seeing her tonight unless something happens. And, as much as having his best friend beside him would be nice, he doesn’t think he has the energy to fight an Akuma right now. Honestly, he doesn’t even have the strength to be Chat Noir. He’s just Adrien. Adrien in a suit, with superpowers, and walking on rooftops, but he’s still the very same Adrien he was an hour ago, just as tired and just as broken. Usually, when he transforms into Chat, he’s able to set his ‘regular life’ problems aside.

But right now he’s alone, and there’s no one to see him fail. 

___________

             He’s patrolling again, on his own for a while before he has to meet up with Ladybug for their ‘official’ patrol, when he sees Mari on her balcony. Adrien’s tired, and he thinks it might be nice to spend some time with his friend, not really doing anything, just being in friendly company, even if she doesn’t know it’s him. But she’s knitting, and she seems so peaceful and focused, he doesn’t want to disturb her. Except, Marinette looks up, and smiles at him, and it’s kind of what he needed. He sits down next to her, and closes his eyes for a bit. It’s been a few days, and he knows he should’ve moved on but truth is, he hasn’t been sleeping very well. He’s angry and he’s sad, because hates the situation he’s in, and hates himself for feeling bad, because he really should’ve seen it coming.

           Adrien’s also angry with himself because he’s not acting very _Chat Noir_ and Marinette notices. “ _Chat,_ _Are you okay?_ ” He opens his eyes and she sets down her wool. And, no, he’s not okay. He’s not okay, because the wool Mari uses is the exact same color as his scarf. Marinette is knitting with wool the exact same color as his scarf, in a very similar pattern. Marinette, the designer, who can knit and sew like no one else’s business and make it seem flawless, worth being sold in an actual shop. Marinette, the thoughtful, kind girl who goes out of her way to make everyone feel special. Marinette, who always gives amazing gifts to her friends, but hadn’t given him one. Marinette, who, he now remembered, showed up in front of him on his birthday, with a parcel that she’d hidden behind her back, and that he hadn’t seen again. Until he had, a few hours later that day, when Nathalie gave him the gift “his father” had gotten him.

            The scarf was from Mari. She’d knit it herself, and for some reason it had ended up in Natalie’s hands, and she’d passed it as a present from Gabriel. Adrien has kind of forgotten how or what to feel. It’s just; he'd known the scarf wasn’t from his father, and he hasn’t even come to terms with it yet, but discovering the whole truth is even worse. Whether the idea had been Nathalie’s or his father’s, the fact is that they’d stolen a gift one of his friends had _made_ him _with her own hands_ and they’d passed it as theirs and they didn’t see anything wrong with that. It makes him sick.

            Chat (—Adrien, he’s still feeling more _Adrien_ than he ever does in his superhero outfit) sort of excuses himself, leaves Marinette, and he runs until he’s too out of breath to hear himself think. When it's time for their patrol and Ladybug finds him, she just hugs him, not saying a word, and he might not be okay, but he know he’s not completely alone either.

**Author's Note:**

> i made myself sad thinking about this scarf for wayyyyy too long, believe me


End file.
